Every father is a hero to his child - when I read this quote on the back of a motorcycle a long time ago, I couldn't relate more to it. That day forward, answer to every security question which asks - "who is your childhood hero?" has been 'Abba' (not the pop band; that's what I call my father). Now don't go about trying to use it to hack into my bank accounts - you won't find much money for I am not a saving man; I take after my father when it comes to bad finances - as in many other things says my mother. However, if there were one trait I wish I had came close to resembling him - it would be his generosity.
Often times when it comes to generosity, we as material humans mistake it to being generous about money. Boy was he generous in that matter too - for he made a lot of it during his time but has none left now - not because he spent it on himself, but because he spent it on those who asked of him directly, those who came to him for help without being explicit and those who never approached him for they were too proud but he knew were in need of help.
Throughout my childhood and teenage days, he never entertained me in his office (which was the front room of our home) but the few times I managed to take a sneak peak, I witnessed many amazing things. From people being counselled for their problems in marriage going on to name their child after him to people rejected by the society to have fallen in love with someone from the other religion getting married under his guardianship. The most amazing of those things was when someone hysterical fell to his feet calling him God only for him to rock back in utter humility, lift them up and tell them that there is only one God while he is just a means. He is a spiritual man, so he religiously believes he is only but a means - the thought I think humbled him and kept him grounded; but to many he is the Godfather they never had. He could ask anything of those people and they would be ready to do it for him - but the most he asked of them was to pray for him and his family's peace of mind.
Now peace of mind he almost always had; though only a few days ago I realised what made him such a content man was this trait of generosity. He gave and gave more, in money and service, never expecting to get anything in return. If you look at his life you'd think he hasn't got much in return but ask him and he'd tell you otherwise, measured in terms you would never have thought of before.
People who didn't know him enough thought of him as being naive - someone who doesn't save for the rainy day, someone who had three children to look after but is wasting away all his money on people who wouldn't care for him later. What they failed to see was his belief in God and karma. He believes nothing bad would happen to him and construed seemingly bad events as God's will, knowing there is good coming out of it surely. The good, surprisingly to many and obvious to him, almost always shows up. For the times it doesn't, he says is a good sign for God is saving them up to be in his favour on the Day of Judgement. This verse from the Quran sums it up - But perhaps you hate a thing and it is good for you; and perhaps you love a thing and it is bad for you. And Allah knows, while you know not.
I myself have never been a giving man. I am so human, I don't remember much of doing something for someone without expecting returns. One of the few things I remember was to give myself in completely in a failed relationship. A failed relationahip tells a lot about the returns, ironically though this is the only time I remember feeling content despite the result. I can now relate to my hero, at least for once, on his most wonderful trait - and the philosophy that you don't feel content when you receive, but in contrast contentment is invoked from your ability to give. The more you give, the more at peace you are with yourself.
Notwithstanding all the differences between me and my ex, she said one of the most beautiful things I heard about my father: "Abba is Jack Pearson in a world full of Kardashians".
Every father is a hero to his child. This line is true I am sure to many whose fathers have been borderline fine raising them up. You can hence imagine my hopeless case.
Often times when it comes to generosity, we as material humans mistake it to being generous about money. Boy was he generous in that matter too - for he made a lot of it during his time but has none left now - not because he spent it on himself, but because he spent it on those who asked of him directly, those who came to him for help without being explicit and those who never approached him for they were too proud but he knew were in need of help.
Throughout my childhood and teenage days, he never entertained me in his office (which was the front room of our home) but the few times I managed to take a sneak peak, I witnessed many amazing things. From people being counselled for their problems in marriage going on to name their child after him to people rejected by the society to have fallen in love with someone from the other religion getting married under his guardianship. The most amazing of those things was when someone hysterical fell to his feet calling him God only for him to rock back in utter humility, lift them up and tell them that there is only one God while he is just a means. He is a spiritual man, so he religiously believes he is only but a means - the thought I think humbled him and kept him grounded; but to many he is the Godfather they never had. He could ask anything of those people and they would be ready to do it for him - but the most he asked of them was to pray for him and his family's peace of mind.
Now peace of mind he almost always had; though only a few days ago I realised what made him such a content man was this trait of generosity. He gave and gave more, in money and service, never expecting to get anything in return. If you look at his life you'd think he hasn't got much in return but ask him and he'd tell you otherwise, measured in terms you would never have thought of before.
People who didn't know him enough thought of him as being naive - someone who doesn't save for the rainy day, someone who had three children to look after but is wasting away all his money on people who wouldn't care for him later. What they failed to see was his belief in God and karma. He believes nothing bad would happen to him and construed seemingly bad events as God's will, knowing there is good coming out of it surely. The good, surprisingly to many and obvious to him, almost always shows up. For the times it doesn't, he says is a good sign for God is saving them up to be in his favour on the Day of Judgement. This verse from the Quran sums it up - But perhaps you hate a thing and it is good for you; and perhaps you love a thing and it is bad for you. And Allah knows, while you know not.
I myself have never been a giving man. I am so human, I don't remember much of doing something for someone without expecting returns. One of the few things I remember was to give myself in completely in a failed relationship. A failed relationahip tells a lot about the returns, ironically though this is the only time I remember feeling content despite the result. I can now relate to my hero, at least for once, on his most wonderful trait - and the philosophy that you don't feel content when you receive, but in contrast contentment is invoked from your ability to give. The more you give, the more at peace you are with yourself.
Notwithstanding all the differences between me and my ex, she said one of the most beautiful things I heard about my father: "Abba is Jack Pearson in a world full of Kardashians".
Every father is a hero to his child. This line is true I am sure to many whose fathers have been borderline fine raising them up. You can hence imagine my hopeless case.
Guf. So well-written. Great respect for your dad. His life story is amazing.
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